If you have a child that has ASD most of the time you always think how to cope with your child whenever something uncontrollable incident comes up. What if the situation is right there in front of you? and many people are also there and watching your every move. What if your child is really in bad mood , he’s crying and he wants something so bad but you don’t want him to have it, either that thing is expensive or inappropriate for a child like his age. What are you going to do?
True story to share
Here is the true story that I would like to share with some readers that probably would contribute to the importance of knowing on how to deal this certain kind of situation.
It was one Saturday weekend, me and my wife have a plan to go to the Mall and buy some gifts and winter clothes because winter at that time as I remember was just around the corner. We decided to bring our son with us because nobody home to take care of him while we are gone.
So we went to the mall and bought a few clothes we need plus some extra things we normally use around the house. As we passed by a toy store my son already knows where he wants to go so he went inside the store and choose not much expensive toy probably like around 40 dollars. I told my wife ” that’s alright it’s very rare that we bring our son with us especially to a place like this”. So we went out and stroll around a little bit inside the mall.
We were enjoying ourselves together just like any other families we have seen out there. But here is the thing every little toy my son saw he wants to have it. I said to my wife ” We better go home soon or else we would end up broke. Me and wife we couldn’t say no to him. If he really likes the toy especially the Thomas train toys he will stood there and will not move even if we say we have to go now.
He will cry, sits or lay on the floor and gets everybody else attentions. That kind of situation was embarrassing indeed, especially when we see people watching us. Sometimes they would come up to my son and pacify him. Then we would end up of buying what he wants.
On our way home I told my wife ” We are going to stop by Home Depot to buy something that I need for my home project. So we went inside the store and start looking for the things I need. Then, after a few minutes I told my wife ” let’s go I got the things that I need. I’ll pay it to the cashier then we can go home. She said, “There seems to be a problem, I can’t get our son away from that vacuum”. She’s right, I saw my son playing with the vacuum and I don’t know why but he is pretty much attached to it ( read my other post ” Autism therapy toys).
Obsession with one thing
Then, what happened was we couldn’t get him away from that vacuum, he’s doing the same thing just like before catching up somebody’s attention. I said to my wife, ” Let’s go I pay for it that way we can go home”. But as I look at the tag prize of the vacuum I was surprised. It cost 350 dollars, I said “what? , there is no way I’m going to buy this as his toy.
But the problem is no matter how I tried to pull him off the floor he doesn’t want to. I tried to talk to him even though I was not sure if he’s getting the idea that I don’t want to buy it for him. No response but even more intense of crying we heard inside of the store. “Well, I don’t know what to do anymore “, I said to my wife.
However, one of the sales guy who actually witness the situation on what was really going on. He nicely approach us and said” Don’t tell my manager that I said this, If I were you I’m going to pay the vacuum I know it is a lot of money for his toy but you can bring your son home without resisting anyway you can return the item anytime you want. The issue here your son doesn’t want to go home, right?”. It’s like a flip of the switch the idea lights up on my mind. I thank the guy for his smart idea and after I paid the vacuum we managed to go home.
As we arrived home I was worried that my son would insist to open the box and play with that vacuum. If he did that there is a chance that he would break it and I would never get my money back. I was very thankful that he fell asleep before we get off the car. What a relief, as soon as I brought him into his room I told my wife that I ‘m going back to Home Depot to return the vacuum. Just imagine that I would spent 350 dollars for a vacuum.
I know there would be a problem when he wakes up. So, I bought this cheap vacuum in a box of course to replace the one that I returned. He woke up after couple of hours and doesn’t have any idea that I had swapped it up with another vacuum. That’s the end of the story.
Try to understand what your child is going through
However, people might say that’s not how you suppose to raise your child. You need to show him some limitation , be angry perhaps if you need to that way he would have fear and never insist to have what is not right.
I probably would say ” Well said, I don’t argue with that but considering if your child have no disorder , My child is different “. It’s hard to communicate with him and most of the time we really don’t know what he really wants.
Most of the time when he’s sick he was just laid down on the bed as if like a newborn baby. He doesn’t say if something wrong with him neither he would say if he is not feeling well. We show our love to him even though he crosses the line sometimes.
Show your love and not hate
Love him for what he is. I know If he had a choice he wouldn’t want to live a life like this leading to nowhere. We all knew nobody does want it. I would say, be nice to your children with or without autism or any disorder. Most of them doesn’t know what they are doing and why. We, as a parents should be the first one to understand them.
They need our love and not hate. We have to guide them even though we knew that it is not going to be easy. Walk with them hand in hand no matter what obstacles or trials that life would bring for him. Be there for your child no matter what. Thank you for reading.
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